Sunday Sermon 14th February

All rise
Hallelujaj, hallelujaj, hallelujaj, hallelujaj, hallelujaj
bothers, Hallelujaj sisters, and the rest of you. Welcome, welcome, welcome, so
nice to see old friends, old acquaintances, fellow parishioners and so many new faces. Today I would
like to talk abo – Burnout Aussie,
are you drinking! put it away. I would like to talk about the changes
that have been going on in the parish, as many of you kn – Rotherham Poofter, what are you and
Lord Mandelslime doing down there! Get up! The congregation does not kneel during the sermon.  As many of you know the parish has been inundated with refugees
and immigrants recently, while many of you have been very welcoming, I’m
thinking of you Ms Tiredofeulies, some of you have not been as welcomi – Jabba, if you’re drawing on the pews
again! – welcoming as one would hope of good Christians. The
Methodists may have some customs that we are unfamiliar with and change is
always a challen – SC, there is
more than enough room for the young lady to sit on the pew! – challenge. However, I would implore you all to show some moderation.
Let us pray
Our Father, Who art in heaven
Hallowed be Thy Name
etc
etc

Next, I believe some of you are complaining about the quality of – Is that you lurking in the vestibule ReevoGuido? – in or out boy, take a pew, quality of the sermons, might I remind you, especially if you are new here as to what the editorial policy is, there isn’t one, though you are always welcome to come up to the pulpit and deliver a sermon of your own. See me

All rise

Parish News

New parishioners are reminded to review the local by-laws here, speaking of which that nice Mr Google tells me that since the refurbishment we have had over 100,000  page views and in the last week there have been 14,185 sessions, 3,724 users and 94,147 page views. However, I have had to tell him that his services are no longer required concerning maintenance of the parish notice board, it is no place for Asian dating advertisements.